Category: General

Tip On Managing Your Finances During A Divorce

One of the most difficult decisions a person makes is the decision to get a divorce. And with decision comes many other decisions including child custody, child visitation, child support, spousal support and division of property. Without the guidance of a legal expert, the amount of decisions, especially when it comes to finances can feel insurmountable. We’ve created this list of helpful tips on how you can manage your finances while you are going through the divorce process.

Tip 1: Close all joint accounts

Whether it’s a joint checking account or a joint credit account, it’s important to close these accounts immediately. You do not want to be gaining income or racking up debt in both of your names while you are trying to split the assets equally.

Tip 2: Create a budget

A lot of the times in the event of a divorce, you are going from a two-income household to now just a single income household. By creating a budget, you will make sure that you do overspend on things that are not necessary and you will be able to afford your new lifestyle. The budget should include things like your monthly expenses, mortgage payments, car payments, retirement funds and tuition if applicable.

Tip 3: Find healthcare insurance

Especially if you are the spouse that is covered under your soon to be ex-spouse’s plan, the sooner you can get on your own health insurance the better. This will prevent a lapse in coverage and you can work the new expense into your budget.

Tip 4: Update your insurance policies and other estate planning documents

While we do not like to think about our own mortality, making sure your children are provided for in the future. It’s also important to make sure your power of attorney and health care proxy are updated to the correct person so you ex-spouse is not in charge.

Although this is just the small tip of the iceberg of everything you need to do during the divorce process, we hope that we can make your lives a little easier. If you are seeking a divorce attorney do not hesitate to contact us.

Common Reasons for Divorce

When a couple gets married, their intentions are to have a happy marriage, with a wonderful family, that lasts forever and ever. A growing number of couples are getting married; unfortunately, not to their soul mate. More and more couples are choosing divorce over sticking it out with someone they can’t bring themselves to live with any longer. Divorce has become a common theme amongst young couples in their 20s and couples within the first 10 years of their relationship. There are a number of different factors that weigh into the decision to get a divorce. An article from marriage.com supplied the information we used to create this list.

Some Common Reasons for Divorce

Infidelity – We see it in TV shows and movies all the time, but that’s just dramatics for the big screen, right? Wrong. Extra-marital affairs are one of the most common reasons for marriages that end in divorce. People cheat for a variety of reasons, maybe they’re looking to spice up their sex life, maybe they’re angry with their partner, maybe they just feel detached from the person they once lived deeply. Whatever the reason is, it can be a crushing blow to a marriage that was already shaky.

Money – Money, money, money, mooo-ney. Everything about money can make a relationship toxic. If the two partners have different financial goals, the spending habits of the other partner may put an immense amount of strain on the couple. Money can also factor in if one partner makes more than the other. This can create a power struggle between the two partners.

No Communication – Communication is key in any relationship whether it’s between a friend and you, a coach and his/her players, a boss and his underlings, and your spouse and you. Without communication, one party may become frustrated and feel left out. Practicing good communication is key to a successful marriage. You should never be afraid to talk to your partner. Tell them how you feel and share your feelings with your partner.

Arguing – A sign of a relationship going south is constant arguing. Constant arguing can make each spouse feel like they’re not being heard or appreciated. Sometimes a fix to this can be taking a step back and looking at it from the other person’s point of view.

Weight Gain – We know, this reason is messed up. But it’s true, weight gain is one of the most common reasons that couples get divorced. It’s not because there is a change in personality, but it can be as simple as one person isn’t as physically attracted to the other anymore. This can also have an effect on yourself. If you have gained weight, your self-esteem may drop making you less physically intimate.

Unrealistic Expectations – Often, people enter a marriage and think that everything is going to be cupcakes and rainbows. Unfortunately, that’s more than likely not going to be the case. There are going to be some rough times and some issues you have to push through. Don’t go into marriage with the idea you and your spouse are never going to argue, it’s unrealistic and can cause a rift between the two of you.

Absence of Intimacy – The responsibility, for this reason, falls on both parties. This isn’t always about physical intimacy, emotional intimacy can also play a role. If one party is acting cold or disconnected from the other, it can leave the other party feeling under appreciated. Practice little acts of kindness and affection to constantly remind your loved one that you appreciate them.

Shortage of Equality – This reason comes into play if one party feels like they are making more of an effort to the marriage. This can lead to resentment, which can lead to extra-marital affairs or divorce.

Not Ready for Marriage – Sometimes, you’re just not ready for married life. Divorce rates among couples who get married in their 20s are high. Almost half of the couples that get a divorce are within the first ten years of the marriage.

Abuse – Abuse covers not just physical abuse, but emotional abuse as well. Emotional abuse can stem from a reason that is unsettling to one party whether it is a deeper emotional issue or something within the marriage. No reason for abuse is acceptable and no one should be forced to tolerate it.

Domestic Violence Resources in San Diego

Domestic Violence has reached epidemic levels nationwide. According to a 2011 survey conducted by the Center for Disease Control, 31.5 percent of women and 27.5 percent of men had been victims of physical violence by an intimate partner. Further, 22.3 percent of women and 14 percent of men had experienced at least one act of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. In California, 32.9 percent of women and 27.3 percent of men have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime. While these numbers are staggering, it’s important to keep in mind that there are laws in place to protect victims of domestic abuse.

The California Penal Code Section 273 identifies domestic violence as an instance when an individual “inflicts corporal injury resulting in a traumatic condition upon a victim” and identifies victims of domestic violence as being the offender’s former or current spouse, cohabitant, fiance or fiancee, and/or someone the offender has had an engagement or dating relationship with. A conviction of domestic battery can result in “a fine of up to $2,000, imprisonment in county jail for up to one year, or both.” In the case of probation, a court can mandate the offender to complete a treatment or counseling program for no less than one year.

There are many resources available in San Diego to victims of domestic violence should you need them.

Hotlines:

  • San Diego County Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault 24 hour Hotline: (888) DV-LINKS (365-4657)
  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 656 – HOPE (4673)
  • San Diego County Behavioral Health Access and Crisis Line: (888) 724 – 7240
  • Becky’s House 24-hour Domestic Violence Hotline: (619) 234 – 3164

Centers:

The center provides a myriad of resources for survivors of domestic violence including legal and immigration assistance and counseling, medical attention and employment coaching.

This center provides survivors with legal services and emergency and transitional shelters for those escaping dangerous situations.

  • Center for Community Services
    4508 Mission Bay Dr
    San Diego, CA 92109 – 4919
    (858) 272-5777
    A center that provides legal, counseling, advocacy, and emergency shelter to help end relationship and sexual violence

Counseling:

Locations:

  1. Downtown San Diego – located in the San Diego Family Justice Center
  2. Ocean Beach
    5059 Newport Ave., Suite 202
    San Diego, CA 92107
    (619) 533-6089

This center provides individual and group counseling, as well as wellness workshops for survivors of domestic violence

Focused on providing counseling for children who have witnessed or experienced domestic violence, this center provides many treatments and programs for trauma, PTSD, ADHD, depression and more.

Shelters:

Located at the YWCA of San Diego, open 24 hours. This center offers a 30-day emergency shelter, transitional housing and legal support to women, men and children.

Located at the YWCA of San Diego, this center provides “interim housing and family services for low-income, single-parent or dual-parent families with children.” Designed to house entire families, the center does not separate members by gender or age. Administrative offices open Monday – Friday, 9:00 am – 5:30 pm.

  • Home Start Maternity Shelter
    5005 Texas Street Suite 203
    San Diego, CA 92108
    Main office (619) 692-0727
    Open Monday – Friday 8:30am – 5:00pm

This shelter provides pregnant and nursing women 18-24 years old with a safe space for them and their children while also providing job-readiness training, financial literacy, and mental health services.

Carol’s House provides temporary shelter for 45 to 60 days while receiving services for legal advocacy, life skills and parenting classes, and individual and group counseling.

If you are considering a divorce or need legal assistance for cases related to domestic violence, contact one of our attorneys today. Our team of attorneys has extensive experience with cases regarding domestic violence, divorce, restraining orders, and other family law issues.